Society would quickly collapse were it not for the dozens of tiny lies we permit ourselves every day. Mostly we use this for simple good manners. For instance, when breaking up with a partner, we reassure them that "It's not you, it's me", when in reality it most certainly is them.
We all learn to lie at such a young age: every parent will recognise the moment where a child first puts their hand to their mouth before stating a blatant lie. From that moment, we get steadily better at lying as we grow older, gradually refining our technique until by full adulthood we are all experts in the art of deception.
Of all human social behaviours, it is perhaps the hardest to detect. That said, there are various things we can look out for to help us know when someone is lying.
Are they just nervous?
Lying can have very similar symptoms to anxiety. In many situations when we might be tempted to lie, we can also simply be nervous – trying to cover up our mistakes or woo a possible partner. The trick is to establish what a person's "baseline" behaviour is, and then look for deviations. If someone is normally relaxed, then blinking and quick eye movement, licking of the lips and touching of the face can all denote lying.
Covering up
Look for gestures that suggest hiding the face or body. Touching the nose is a classic symptom of anxiety. Bill Clinton, when testifying before a grand jury about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky, adopted neutral body language when giving obviously true answers. But when he was being quizzed more exactly, he touched his nose every four minutes, or 26 times.
Excessive fidgeting
Look for scratching or fiddling with clothing. If you are lying and want to disguise it, keep your eyes and your hands calm without seeming unnatural. Nobody looks as nervous as somebody trying not to.
Smiling through
Despite the image of the "grinning liar", studies have found that people smile more when they are telling the truth.
Trust your instinct
We are often more adept at lie-detection intuitively than scientifically. In the end, the old adage is probably correct: if you suspect someone is lying, they probably are.
如果我们每天不允许自己撒些小谎，这个社会很快就会崩溃。基本上我们可以把这当作单纯的礼仪需要。比如说，当我们分手时会对伴侣一再保证“那不是你的问题，都是因为我”，而实际上的确是他们的问题。
我们都学会在很小时候就开始撒谎:而当孩子在撒弥天大谎前先把手碰触嘴前，每个家长都会识破。于是从那时起，随着我们的成长，我们变成了更加高明的撒谎者，撒谎技巧也不断改善提炼，直到我们成为成人世界中欺骗艺术领域的专家。
在所有的人类社会行为中，撒谎行为或许是最难以觉察的。尽管如此，当有人撒谎时，我们还是可以从许多方面探寻到蛛丝马迹。
他们只是紧张吗?
撒谎的症状和焦虑非常相似。在很多情况下，当我们在尝试说谎时，我们很容易就变得紧张——试图掩饰自己的错误或获得某人的芳心。此时识破他人的诀窍就是建立他的行为“基准线”，然后寻找偏差。如果有人正常情况下很放松，那么他快速的眨眼眼动、舔嘴唇和触摸脸部等行为就说明了他在撒谎。
掩饰
关注那些有隐藏脸部或身体意向的动作。触摸鼻子是焦虑的典型症状。当比尔·克林顿在陪审团前作证与莫尼卡·莱温斯基的关系时，他在给出明确正确答案时身体语言并无大异，然而当他被更进一步追问时，他每4分钟就触碰鼻子，总共有26次。
过度坐立不安
关注抓挠或拨弄衣服的动作。如果你在说谎并且想要伪装，设法保持眼神和双手冷静镇定，没有异常。没有比试图掩饰紧张的人更紧张了。
笑容满面
尽管也有“咧着嘴的说谎者"形象，但研究表明，当人们在讲实话时会笑的更多。
相信你的直觉
相比科学性的谎言识破技巧，我们往往更擅长于直觉。因此正如古语所言：宁可信其有不可信其无 |
发表于 2010-3-20 10:13:19
