I have been through the depths of poverty and sickness. When people ask me what has kept me going through the troubles that come to all of us, I always reply: "I stood yesterday. I can stand today. And I will not permit myself to think about what might happen tomorrow."
I have known want and struggle and anxiety and despair. I have always had to work beyond the limit of my strength. As I look back upon my life, I see it as a battlefield strewn3) with the wrecks of dead dreams and broken hopes and shattered illusions—a battle in which I always fought with the odds tremendously4) against me, and which has left me scarred and bruised5) and maimed6) and old before my time.
Yet I have no pity for myself; no tears to shed over the past and gone sorrows; no envy for the women who have been spared all I have gone through. For I have lived. They only existed.
I have drunk the cup of life down to its very dregs7). They have only sipped the bubbles on top of it. I know things they will never know. I see things to which they are blind.
It is only the women whose eyes have been washed clear with tears who get the broad vision that makes them little sisters to all the world.
I have learned in the great University of Hard Knocks a philosophy that no woman who has had an easy life ever acquires. I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading the morrow8). It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us. I put that dread from me because experience has taught me that when the time comes that I so fear, the strength and wisdom to meet it will be given me. Little annoyances9) no longer have the power to affect me. After you have seen your whole edifice10) of happiness topple11) and crash in ruins about you, it never matters to you again that a servant forgets to put the doilies12) under the finger bowls13）, or the cook spills 14) the soup.
I have learned not to expect too much of people, and so I can still get happiness out of the friend who isn't quite true to me or the acquaintance15) who gossips16). Above all, I have acquired a sense of humour, because there were so many things over which I had either to cry or laugh. And when a woman can joke over her troubles instead of having hysterics17), nothing can ever hurt her much again.
I do not regret the hardships I have known, because through them I have touched life at every point I have lived. And it was worth the price I had to pay.
我曾经经历贫穷和病痛的深渊！每每人们问起我，是什么力量让我克服这些人人都会面临的困难，我总是这样回答：“我熬得过昨天，就熬得过今天。而且我决不让自己去考虑明天将会发生什么。”
我体会过希望、挣扎、焦虑与绝望的真正含义。我总是超越身体极限地努力工作着。回首我过去的生活，那就像一个战场，里面充满了破碎的梦想、希望与幻想。这场极不利于我的战争令我遍体鳞伤、提前衰老。
然而我并未因此悲悯自己；我没有为过去流泪与伤悲；我丝毫不去嫉妒那些从未经历过我的痛苦的女人们。因为我真正地活过一回，而她们，也只是生存着而已。
我品尝了生命之杯的每一滴，包括那些渣滓，而她们仅仅只是吮到了杯口的泡沫而已。我的所知、所见，她们永远不会知晓，不会看到。
只有被泪水洗过眼睛的女人们，才能有更宽广的视野，这使她们能与整个世界的人们形同姐妹。
我在充满艰辛曲折的社会的大学中，曾领悟到一条哲学真理，那是养尊处优的女人们无法体会到的。我学会了“活在今天，而不去庸人自扰地预支明天的烦恼。”正是对未来的担忧使我们怯懦，我之所以不去理会，是因为经验告诉我，每当我感到如此害怕的时候，上天赐予的力量和智慧就会如约而至。那些小小的烦恼再也无法左右我的行为——当你亲眼目睹所有幸福的生活在你面前轰然崩塌之后，你就再也不会去在乎那些诸如仆人忘了在洗指盆下加垫、厨师不小心弄洒菜汤这类琐事了。
我学会了不要对人们期望过高，因此我仍能从那些对我并不真心的朋友或是爱道人长短的熟人那里获得快乐。最重要的，我已经培养出了一种幽默感，因为以前有太多的事情让我非喜即悲。当一个女人在困难面前淡然一笑，而不再歇斯底里时，已经没有什么能够伤害到她了。
我对经历过的困难一点也不后悔，正因为有了这些经历，才让我真实地触摸到了生活的方方面面。为此，我的付出是值得的。 |
发表于 2010-10-12 17:04:18
